Stand and Stretch

Several months ago, I got a standing desk at work. It is desk addition that I put my monitors, keyboard and mouse on. I grasp it by the handles and pull it up when I want to stand and work. To date, I have recommended this desk at least 75 times (I should get a cut of the sales from the company!). The nice thing about the standing desk is that I am able to stand and stretch throughout the day. I recently read that is better for your health to stand and stretch during the day rather than sit in a chair all day. Stretching works your muscles, is good for your circulation and improves your mood.

Fitness enthusiasts also advocate stretching out before a physical activity. It warms up your muscles and prepares them to use. Gently stretching is one way to help prevent injury during physical activity. It is also good to stretch your mental muscles. Healthcare experts have found that keeping your mind engaged in critical thinking activities may stave off the onset of Alzheimer’s.

What about stretching your emotional muscles? As I was going through a divorce, I felt as if my heart and soul were being stretched beyond their capacity to rebound. I thought surely my emotions would look like a rubber band that has been stretched beyond capacity – limp, lifeless and useless. I think for many people, their emotions get stretched beyond capacity. I believe PTSD is a warning sign that you’re getting close to capacity. How do you prevent your emotions from getting stretched beyond their capacity to rebound? What do you do if they are?

1. Talk about it: One of the best ways to prevent your emotions from getting stretched beyond capacity is to talk about what you’re feeling. Find a trusted friend, make an appointment with your clergyman, or seek professional help. Don’t wait until you feel like you want to ‘go postal’. Address your emotions quickly. I have found that giving breath to my thoughts decreases their power over me.

2. Find a support group: If you try one support group and you find it doesn’t suit your needs, find another. I belong to a small group at my church. Twice a month, I have the ladies in my group over to my house for dinner and fellowship. We’ve gotten into conversations about parenting, marriage, momming. It helps to talk about your experiences.

3. Don’t isolate yourself: You may think, “No one knows how I feel. No one cares.” Hogwash! You are more vulnerable when you are alone. My mom always said, “There is safety in numbers”. Find that support group or talk to a friend.

4. Journal: Write about what’s going on in your head, in your life. You can journal as often as you want. You don’t need to be eloquent or be a good speller. This writing is for YOU. Like giving breath to your thoughts, giving words to them also decreases their power. Sometimes, it helps to see what you’re thinking.

5. Take it one step at a time: You didn’t get here overnight, so don’t expect to feel better overnight. This is why it’s so important to get professional help. You need someone who can walk with you through the small steps of healing, especially if your emotions have been stretched beyond capacity. I recommend Beyond Divorce with Jennine Lee (https://www.facebook.com/BeyondDivorce). I have read her book and it helped.

Know that you are not in this alone – whether it’s a divorce, loss of a loved one, eating disorder, etc. Please do not hesitate to reach out to someone who will walk with you through this time in your life. Don’t just sit there, stand and do something! Walk toward healing so your emotions don’t get stretched beyond capacity! Stay tuned . . . .