Category Archives: Uncategorized

Medals

One of my siblings lives in San Antonio, TX. Every April, the city celebrates Fiesta San Antonio. Each year, new commemorative medals are issued as part of the festival. There are some people who have been collecting commemorative medals for years. Collecting the medals is like collecting pins from different places and events.

I have my own medals – they are known as wrinkles and gray hair. Yesterday, I went to get my hair trimmed. As the stylist was showing me how much she had trimmed off, she showed me the back of my head. I gasped! There, buried under several strands of dirty dishwater blonde hair was a streak of gray hair! I have gray hairs here and there, but I did not know I had such a big streak. I began to laugh!

I have earned every single one of those gray hairs – three terrible two-year-olds, three teenaged drivers, three children away at college, three weddings, one hard-earned Bachelor’s degree, one $%@# ex, four moves in less than two years and four jobs. Those wrinkles around my eyes and mouth? Laughing with my children and friends, smiling at my grand baby, singing in choirs and praise bands, and loving Cycle Dude with my whole heart.

Am I afraid or ashamed of my gray hair and wrinkles? Heck no! They are reminders that the life I have lived thus far has not be easy and has not always been happy. But I am grateful for these visual reminders that I have not stopped living life, that I am not afraid to share that life with others and that I am grateful to God for this amazing life He has given me. (And yes, I do use sunscreen and always wear a hat when I am outside.)

My wrinkles and gray hair remind me that my life has not been perfect, but I would not trade my ‘medals’ for anything in the world! Stay tuned. . . .

Advertisements

Talk to God

I used to have long talks with God during the turbulent years of my marriage. I talked to Him a great deal as I was going through the divorce as well. My conversations ranged from anger and almost rage that He would allow this painful time in my life, sarcasm as I asked why He wasn’t working on my (ex) husband’s heart and downright unbelief in His goodness.

Why do we always blame God when things go south in our lives? He has not made us to be blindly believing robots, but He has given us free will – that we would choose or not choose Him of our own volition. The Bible tells us that trials will come our way and that God uses trials to form our character. We are to rejoice in all things, not for all things. Do I rejoice when evil happens in my life, to those I love? No! I don’t rejoice for that, but I rejoice that I know God will not abandon me during the times of trials, that He has given me people who love me to walk through those times with, and that He has provided those people who will pray for me.

Talking to God helps me to hash things out in my own mind. I know that He listens to me, in spite of what my emotional state may be at the time. I know that God is a good, good father. I had a wonderful earthly father for whom I still grieve, almost 10 years after his death. My dad was a godly man and a wonderful example of a loving father. I know many people have not had such a wonderful dad, but I did. I am so glad for his love – for my mom, my siblings and me, and for God.

Need a listening ear in the middle of a dark night? Talk to God. You won’t wake Him up, you won’t make Him angry. Psalm 121 tells us that “the Lord is steadfast; He does not sleep, neither does He slumber.” He listens, He understands and He will move in your life if you let Him. Stay tuned. . . .

Giraffe Baby Watch

I normally don’t post twice in one day. However, I think this is so cool that everyone needs to watch for a little bit. http://www.wbir.com/news/watch-live-giraffe-birth-at-ny-zoo/413606572  Granted, watching an animal give birth doesn’t appeal to everyone, but it’s fascinating just to watch April (the mom giraffe), especially when she interacts with her mate.

I googled ‘giraffes’ and found out all sorts of interesting information – things like there are four different species of giraffes, female giraffes give birth standing up, male giraffes duke it out using their long necks, drinking is when a giraffe is at its most vulnerable (but they only need to drink every couple of days), and that their 18-21 inch tongue can grab leaves from the very tops of trees! They are the tallest land mammal and the baby giraffes can run alongside their mom in less than 12 hours after birth.

So, why do I post about giraffes on this blog? If God cares about the patterns on a giraffe’s coat that help distinguish one species from another, and if He cares enough about a baby giraffe to make sure it’s up and running shortly after birth, don’t you think He cares about you?

There were many times during the years immediately before and during my divorce that I felt abandoned. But God was there all along. He kept me safe and provided for my needs through many sources. When I got angry and shook my fist at the sky, He lovingly took me back and showed me His grace. He surrounded my children with amazing Christian people who loved them through their parent’s divorce.

Many people are anticipating the birth of this baby giraffe. As you walk through your journey of healing after your divorce, anticipate the new life God is leading you to. He surrounds you with love and grace so that you can stand and experience victory. Stay tuned . . .

In The Corner

A sampling of my poetry:

In The Corner

She clutches the well-worn stuffed teddy bear

As she tries to back further into the corner

She’s hoping to make herself smaller

So she doesn’t hear their voices

The yelling, the beating, the screaming

She hopes to find solace there

In the corner

 

She clutches the Hello Kitty notebook

As she tries to find a seat in the corner back row

The popular girls in the front row glare at her

They whisper to one another and laugh

Glaring, laughing, pointing

She puts her head down to find peace

In the corner

 

She strides confidently into the board room

And takes her place at the head of the table

She has her presentation and her notes

She is ready for the questions, the objections, the disagreements

In her mind, she is clutching the teddy bear

She will not be intimidated this day

In the corner

 

She watches the small women enter the room

Clutching her laptop and her purse

“I used to be her” she thinks

The woman sits at the very end of the table

Presentation, then questions, more questions

The woman raises an objection

Unanswerable

Backing her

Into the corner

 

CRM

12/16/13

Three Little Words

I received a phone call this morning from my oldest son. I could not answer it right away, so I had to call him back. First thing – I wondered why he would be calling me in the middle of a weekday morning. When I called him back, he asked, “Have you heard from your sister this morning?” Second thing – When he asks a question like that, I know something is wrong. He informed me that there was an active shooter at the Air Force Base where my sister works. I panicked and called and emailed her. I had to leave her a voice message. Luckily, a few minutes later, my son called me back and said, “I just heard from her. She’s okay.” Tears of panic turned to tears of relief.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where incidents like this are becoming commonplace – active shooters, bombings, plane crashes, train derailments. The world we live in is not safe. That should not cause us to panic, but it should cause us to appreciate life more. It should cause us to not take for granted those we love.

We are not promised tomorrow. Take the time now to tell those you love that you love them. Pshaw on “Oh, they know I love them!” How? Have you told them lately? If not, why not? Tell those you love, every day, that you love them. You may not be given another chance. Stay tuned . . . .

A Rose

When Cycle Dude and I went on our first date, he gave me a single red rose because, he said, “First dates can be creepy.” That was the single most perfect rose I had ever seen! (See photo above.) Cycle Dude still brings me flowers – and often roses!

My Mom’s favorite flower is a rose. My dad would always bring her roses when he could afford them. When my dad died, my siblings, mom and I each put a red rose on his casket.

For me, roses symbolize love – the love of a man for a women, the love of children for their parents, the love of family members for one another. I recently posted about learning to love again. A rose was a step in that direction for me. Stay tuned . . . .

Being Mindful

The apartment complex where I live is surrounded by woods. That can have its advantages and disadvantages. The down side is that there are feral cats who tangle with the local skunk population quite frequently -peeeuuu!! The up side is that there is all sorts of cool wildlife. I saw a fox a few months ago. There is a barred owl who lives in one of the trees. I’ve heard him alone and then with another barred owl. I’ve also heard a screech owl several times. The owls’ hooting is so soft and peaceful.

When I was separated, then going through the divorce and dealing with the painful aftermath, all I wanted was peace. I have blogged before that peace was sorely lacking in my marriage. Cycle Dude is very peaceful. I love spending time with him. But he lives 30 minutes away, so I can’t always just hop in the car and run over to his house when I’ve had a rough day.

I like to walk with my dogs, or even by myself. Today at lunchtime I walked around the hospital where I work. I took those few minutes to be mindful of things around me – the sound of the American flag as it whipped in the wind, the color of the sky and the white whispy clouds in contrast, the smell of the horses and cows on MyUniversity’s agricultural campus land behind the hospital, and the feeling of wind blowing my hair in my face. I even stopped at one point and stood there with my eyes closed. What did I hear, smell, feel?

Life is incredible! It is too short to not step outside and enjoy nature, or listen to music, or eat chocolate, or tussle with your dog or cat, or hug your best buddy. Being mindful means you take the time to stop and enjoy the world around you. Divorce is painful, no doubt. Yet, God puts Himself in everything around us. Take time to stop, be mindful of His creation, listen to His voice in the quietness of your soul. Stay tuned . . . .