The internet has made it possible to connect to people all over the world. Fifty years ago, the only thing that did that was the telephone and even then, in small rural areas, that was iffy. I am amazed at the growth in technology I have seen in my lifetime. There are young people alive today who don’t know life without Facebook, cell phones, iPads, etc. Today’s two-year-olds are more computer savvy than many people my age!
Like all technology, the internet can be good and it can be evil – it all depends on the user. One thing I found after my divorce is that there is a huge population of divorced women out there. They may be young with no children, single moms, or, like me, empty nesters. There are so many good resources and support groups – one never has to be alone in one’s healing journey.
I would caution a few things, though:
1. Be aware of ex bashing: For me, I had enough problems with my own ex, I don’t need to get pulled into someone else’s problems with their ex. Sure, we can sit around all day and bash ex, but what good does that do? The time and energy spent bashing your ex or helping others bash their ex can be put to better use by researching things like budgeting, finding a support group, or volunteering in your community. Ex bashing serves no purpose other than to bring you and ex down to the same level. Let it go!
2. Do your own research: Divorce laws differ from state to state. Don’t depend on a friend’s experience in another state to determine your course of action in your divorce. Research the divorce laws in your own state. Most lawyers will offer a 30 minute free consultation. Find a good lawyer and use that time to confer with him/her and get answers to your questions.
3. Be careful how much information you share about yourself in an online public forum: Ex’s can be sneaky and pose as another divorced woman in order to obtain information. Anonymity is a good thing. On this blog, I don’t share my name, Cycle Dude’s name, where I work or where I live for a reason. Remember, “TMI” (too much information) or “TMPI” (too much personal information). Be wise. If you don’t think you should share it, don’t, ’cause once it’s out there, it’s out there, knowhatimean?
4. Every experience is different: We both may have gone through a divorce during middle age, but our experiences are different because we are different. Perhaps you would not have made the same decision I did in a certain situation or perhaps you would have acted on the divorce sooner. We can walk with one another through the experience of divorce, but it is the diversity of our experiences that make our commonalities so rich.
We are never alone. If you are a Jesus follower, then you know He is always with you, always walking alongside you in your healing journey. For many, a helping hand and a kindred heart is as close as the internet. God Bless you, dear one, as you continue to walk out your healing journey. Stay tuned . . . .